Val D. Mills: My, She’s Fly!

Beauty, brains, a nurturing spirit, and a level of resilience rivaled only by her incessant tendency to make other people smile — I just don’t how all she fit all them in them genes!  This month’s My, She’s Fly is admittedly my favorite of all the wonderful women I’ve featured, and with good reason too; she’s my Mama!  Meet a long-time Execumama who has survived a great deal of turmoil and continues to provide an example of a shining human spirit that insists on pursuing the fullest version of itself!

Name: Valerie Anderson Mills
Age: 53
Execu-gig: Legal Assistant
Mama gig: Mother to a sagacious and beautiful daughter, and two equally wonderful sons; all adults.

Is your day job  your passion?

I’m finding that even after 23 years, it still is not.  At times it feels that I could literally close my eyes and perform the tasks given to me, and I know I’ve outgrown my job.  What I do love is anything that has to do with finances: investments, retirement financial planning, etc.  I also love garment making, and I love to blog (check me out here), sing and dance — yep, all those things! Question is, what do I do with all of this? Answer? Pursue them all, and I’ve already started doing just that!

One would think that once your children become adults, you no longer qualify for the “Working mother concerns” club.  Is that the case?

Actually, no, it never stops because I still want to make sure things are going right for them and their children too.  I get to play mother all over again with my grandchildren and I am loving it! The same care and concern I have for my adult children is now extended to my granddaughters. So, no, the “working mother concerns’ never end.

Word on the street is 40 is the new 20! Does that mean 50 is the new 30? How is your life better now that you’ve entered this era in your journey?

YES! 5o is the new 30, and I find myself feeling younger, fresher, and definitely happier than I was in my 20’s and 30’s.  I often feel like I wasted decades of my life living a lesser version of myself in many ways, mostly stemming from poor decision making.  Ask yourself what decisions you’ve recently made, or are about to make, that are less than you. If you can identify them, change or repair those decisions, if it’s not too late. For me now, through my vast and various experiences, I’ve grown wiser, and I look forward to each of my birthdays!

What life-lesson tips can you offer to us Execumamas in our 20’s and 30’s?

Try to make decisions that use less emotion and more logic.  Pay little attention to what others think and focus more on what would be the very best decision for YOU!  Emotional or inauthentic decisions often lead to you being consumed with regrets.  That’s sort of my story, and so I speak from a place of knowing.  Nowadays, I hear people saying “DO YOU!”, and I like that saying very much!

The Execumama credo is to Define, Design, and Live your fullest version of WOMAN; what are you doing to live that particular charge each day?

My current academic pursuits, my sewing lessons, my socializing, my being more active overall is me living that credo.  I read more, I pay more attention to grooming, I’m doing what feels good to me, and that’s my fullest self.

Thanks, Mom! Your wisdom is much appreciated, as always! Okay folks, what have you learned about regrets, intentions, and embracing your life at any age so far?