Trust the process.
Sounds all zen-like and flowy, doesn’t it?
It’s the sort of thing you want to be able to say with conviction because it’s brimming with useful life lesson, nam-myoho-renge-kyo type energy, right?
But it’s also that lifestyle wisdom that sounds real pretty on the mouth, but is so tough to do when real life shit shows up like, Bladoww, Sucka—take that!
*because my real life shit is always narrated by a Blacksploitation film character*
Trust your process, Akilah.
That resonates with me as one who tries to keep life uncomplicated and comfortable. I consistently practice the Trust the Process mindset, and I don’t always get it right.
My life as a digital nomad and an unschooler offers me plenty opportunity to trust that clients will come in regularly; safe and comfortable living spaces will be available when we need them; and that our daughters are learning whatever they need to be learning right now.
Indeed, Kris, Marley, Sage-Niambi and I have created a very trusting life together. We live with our personal liberation as a priority, honoring the need for individual exploration, and showing respect for who we are as unique beings, as well as who we are to each other.
In other words, each of us have very different relationships with each other, and since our environments change because we live in various cities throughout the year, we also have fluid relationships with our environments.
For example, this year alone, we’ve called three different cities “home” and that’s not abnormal for us.
We got lucky, the four of us, because we’re so different from each other, but we each happen to need one specific thing in order to feel good and practice mastery: plenty of personal space for creative exploration.
Recognizing that need in our daughters is what prompted Kris and me to consider alternative education options to replace traditional schools. Public, private, charter or hybrid, schools were boxy and they’re all built on the assumption that information must be transferred from one (knowing) person to the other person who needs the knowing. #Pineapples
We were nervous and quite unsure of what to do, but we were confident in our shared realization that school was not the answer for Marley and Sage-Niambi.
We honored that realization and made a conscious decision to trust that our process would lead us to the clarity we sought. Unschooling was and is our reward for trusting the process.
That was nearly four year ago. Now, at 10 and 8, Marley and Sage-Niambi are our constant reminders that trusting the process is feasible, even and especially in those Bladoww, Sucka moments.
Here’s what I know about the Strategy & Soulwork of trusting the process:
The Strategy for me was in learning to reframe what it means to be decisive.
When I make a decision to go a certain way, to choose a certain thing over something else, I have to trust that I made the best decision. If that decision doesn’t lead me to the end result I wanted, I didn’t make the wrong decision. If, however, I don’t stop to look at what I need to be doing differently, so that I get closer to the end result I want, then I am making a bad choice.