I shot a parenting segment for a daytime TV show yesterday. Flew from Colorado to Illinois to shoot at NBC Studios, downtown Chicago.
“If the light that shines on you is brighter than the light that is in you, the light that is on you will destroy you.” -Unknown
I was in touch with my light. I felt engaged in my magic that day.
The whole experience was built of bits of flashy stuff: Drivers and sweet hotel rooms, hair and make-up, photographers and producers.
But that flash also brought me front-and-center with those moments where it was possible (easy, even) to get so wrapped up in the experience that I let people tell me how they want me to show up. The way I did when I was working in Corporate America. Doing the dance, getting the rewards, losing confidence in my ability to be me and get what I want out of life, simultaneously.
My sister-friend introduced my to a TV producer for The Steve Harvey Show who was looking for women who “practiced radical parenting styles.” Being an unschooler, a Black unschooler at that, is a needle in a haystack, they said. They’d never heard of it, and when she told them I was also location-independent, they wanted to talk to me immediately.
During several Skype, phone, and text conversations with three different producers, I realized that I would need to get clear about how I would represent myself on daytime TV, where people routinely performed for ratings and retweets, and their chance at celebrity status.
During those conversations, I felt engaged with my magic. I was present and I took the opportunities I needed to revise something I had said, or change my mind about something after I said it. I reviewed some of my public pieces around certain Parenting topics and send them to the producers to support my assertions and make my stance clear.
I didn’t want to be misrepresented if I could help it; we’ll see when the show airs. I’ll see if my context makes it past post-production. For sure though, I was present and mindful, and firmly rooted in my magic.
Anxious, monkey-brain thoughts popped up. I let them come. I examined them. And then I gave them space to keep on going. The end result is that I was calm and curious, and I enjoyed myself.
What happens when you allow yourself to be calm and curious?
No matter what though, find a way to understand what you need to feel connected to your own magic, and practice that shit with commitment and curiosity.
- Follow your gut
- Press back against anything that doesn’t feel safe
- Practice being yourself more