If you’re a woman, If you’re a person of color, If you’re gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender,
if you’re a person of size, a person of intelligence, a person of integrity, then you’re considered a minority in this world.
…And it’s gonna be really hard to find messages of self-love and support anywhere.
For us to have self-esteem is truly an act of revolution, and our revolution in long overdue. -Margaret Cho
Margaret Cho pulled me in with this poignant statement because it’s infused with that same “radical acts of self-love” energy from which people like us are made. The voice and impact of women like Audre Lorde ring out through these statements, and I feed myself on these nutrients as often as my time and emotions allow.
But I must admit that part of Cho’s assertion doesn’t fit my experience.
“Its gonna be really hard to find messages of self-love and support anywhere.”
I disagree wholeheartedly.
Instead, my experience has been that the messages of self-love and support aren’t propped up in mainstream media. Any marginally-aware human being must be familiar with the media’s assertion of what is good, right, and worth attention:
– Be skinny
– Smile often
– Be white. And preferably male.
– Have big breasts
– Don’t oppose things
– Be a Christian
– Adore reality TV
– Eat what tastes good
– Don’t ask questions
Those messages of same-ness and skewed standards are held up as the norm, but many of us see right through that. None of those messages are wrong, but none of them should be touted as the standard for right, good, and appropriate.
Since we know that these messages are promoted as the norm and the truth, we many of us write, speak, converse, and make art in the direction of own selves. I suspect that if you read blogs like this, then you are a source of love and support for those who stand outside the supposed norms.
I understand that many of us feel exactly the way Margaret Cho did when she shared that sentiment. However, I charge you right now with the powerful task of deciding something different.
Decide that you will actively seek out and participate in conversations focused on self-love and support. Decide that you will be a resource for self-love (in your mirror) and support (in your relationships) in ways that encourage the defining of our own norms, the cultivating of our own voices, and the rejection of anything or anyone that pushes against our own grain.
Essentially, if we take the approach that it’s hard to find support for self-love (and self-expression) we will overlook the many resources that support us in our prioritization of radical self-expression.
A Few Supa-dope Supporting Resources (click on ’em)
EverydayFeminism.com :: Here’s a list of my own posts on this brilliant site.