“Your next level begins where your comfort level ends.”
Lisa Nicole Bell, Change Agent/The Inspiration Icon
Well that’s fantastic news, because not since months seven through nine of pregnancy have I been this uncomfortable! Last week’s Meet the Resource call was right on time for many of us, including yours truly. I’ve labeled the past two weeks of my life as Beautifully Intense because I now know (and the call served as yet another confirmation) why this particular transition is a necessary part of my life. Today I am in full celebration mode—party hat, confetti, hot Goddess dress, the works—because I am shedding my old skin, and sauntering sexily in my six-inch heels on my hand-sewn, plush new red carpet.
The catalyst for this transition was far from sexy, though–deep and ugly like a freshly made wound from a long, long drop. It started one night lying in bed with Kris talking about where we were versus where we wanted to be. We were back in a space we never thought we’d revisit, and just like all the other times, the familiarity of the space left me feeling bitter, doubtful, and defeated.
That Night (The Drop).
Coming down from the Super High of spending 32 days in Jamaica, followed by being flown to New York for a photo shoot with one of my favorite magazines, was far worse than I’d anticipated.
I was actually looking forward to returning to the comfort of our cozy home, embracing family and friends, and showing the gazillion pictures we took during our travels. We hadn’t hit our target for the amount of business we intended to secure in Jamaica, but we’d done alright, and came back with solid prospects that still look like they will give us cause to travel back to the island at least three times next year. SCORE, right?!
But when we landed at Hartsfield-Jackson Airport for the second time in four days, and finally got settled in, the proverbial ton of bricks wrapped in the course burlap package labeled BILLS, landed on our heads, rendering Kris focused on resolutions, and me dazed and utterly pissed off. How the frig does an able-bodied, smart, opportunity embracing 33-year-old woman not have enough money to cover her basic living expenses? Again.
But I did everything right. I believed wholeheartedly and focused on my intentions and my efforts, yet the whole ship still sunk like the Ti-friggin-tanic — so now what? So, what I’m observing right now is that the whole Law of Attraction/ask and ye shall receive/magnetize and harvest line of reasoning is a steaming pile of shit being pushed out by an aggressive male cow?! Oh, okay…thanks, Universe! Hardy Fucking Har!
My first instinct was to shut down Execumama.com, call all the people with whom I’d scheduled meetings, Skype chats, or shoots related to anything in the realm of Life Design, and sit my ass down somewhere dark to play dead. Actually, I did a version of that for three full days. I stayed upstairs as much as my life allowed, deciding against re-connecting my cell phone service, and embracing the steel cold reality: Akilah S. Richards, one of many Execumamas/Life Design Practitioner/Wife/Mother/Harvester was a BIG BROWN TOWER OF FAILURE. I was a poser, dressed in fabulosity, but hollow on the inside, and not worth the labor pains that petite 20-year-old girl endured to bring me here. SHITTERS! That hurt was nasty, and it was all my own doing.
I tried talking with God, but the prayer wouldn’t pray. I tried meditation, in efforts to listen to God, but all I heard were loud nothings. I tried shifting my focus to the things I could do to reconnect with my usual positive self, but that self was buried too far beneath the rubble for me to gain access. Not even brownies helped (WTF!), which meant I was amidst a serious shit-storm, sans raincoat, umbrella, or visible shelter.
As always though, Creator quieted my mind enough to get a word in edgewise, and I listened, albeit with folded arms and my head cocked to the side like, “What YOU got to say?”
The RESULTS (The Transition).
1. The 9 Principles of Life Design. The foundation of the next phase of Execumama.com. The full acceptance of the ultimate goal: A Physical Space for Life Design. For women. By me. And a team of mental and physical wellness professionals. Soon.
2. A realization that what I was experiencing was not a fall, but a transition, a shedding of my old skin, an awakening that spoke to the core of me like nothing ever has before.
3. Access to the stories of the many women who like me, experience the bumps and bruises en route to their fullest selves. I am so very fortunate to have been granted access to these stories, and it is with an open heart and hopeful energy that I release them into the Universe, onto your eyes, into your ears, and out through the transitions they will incite in you.
CLICK THE IMAGE BELOW for access to the e-book series. I will release one story every week, and when you sign up, they’ll go straight to your email.
I look forward to your feedback.