Post 12: How Our Mothers’ Choices Can Mute Us

Akilah, I just figured out what I’m getting from that Little Girl you keep talking about.
I recall telling you in an email that she’s messed up and that I had nothing to learn from her.
But just re-reading this post, I remember how quiet she was, how mute she was.

I recall my Mother, no matter what age, talking for me. And I sat quietly thinking, “that’s not the reason!” or “that’s not true!” and stewing about it inside. I would lie in bed at night re-living the experience and imagining my response had I spoken for myself.
As I matured into adulthood, I would sit quiet in conversations at work or even among my friends afraid to express myself because I might say the “wrong” thing. I was well into my 20’s before I understood that having an opinion did not mean I had to agree with everyone else — that it was ok for me to publicly say “I disagree” though I didn’t do it very often at that time. I disagreed inside.

That Little Girl reminds me of consequences of not saying your piece — with consequences being that my voice is not heard.

That was one reader’s response to my private newsletter mailout on August 21st.  The note was entitled The Value In Risking Expression, and in it, I reference the 3 Selves that are Inner Little Girl, Old Woman Self, and Sacred In-between.  This reader, let’s call her Louise, got insight from Inner Little Girl.  Insight to which she didn’t have access before, mainly because that version of ourselves only comes when she feels that the environment is safe for sharing.

I share Louise’s breakthrough with you because I want you to start trusting your Inner Little Girl.  We often consider that aspect of ourselves someone who we need to go back and heal.  We talk about writing letters to our “little girl selves” and such, but rarely do we talk about learning from her.  I believe that she can heal us just as much as we can heal her. But only if we acknowledge her relevance in our current lives and patterns, and only if we trust what she shares with us.