Loyalty + Lowered Vibrations: Say what now?

I’m still on the How + Why to Kick Folks Out of Your Life train, and I thank you for your emails reminding me that my willingness to get vulnerable is appreciated by you!  That means so much to me, and I encourage you to keep ’em coming!

Did you consider the first element, forgiveness?
Have you created distance between you and your “no-thank you” situations?

Did you make your list of the potential tragedies and triumphs associated with forgiveness?
What about going through the support exercises to help you create needed distance?

If you did that work, then you know how great it feels to start claiming ownership over your life, and to be unapologetically picky about who and what gets your energy!

I want you to use the rest of this week to take another step toward your Emotional Freedom by considering where your loyalties are, and how that affects your daily experiences.


Loyalty is defined as faithfulness to commitments or obligations. Now comes the questions…

  • Have you considered WHY you are loyal to your particular commitments?
  • Did you make a conscious decision to be loyal to your particular commitments, or did those elements simply come together as you hurried through your life?
  • If you’re an entrepreneur, what obligations are at the forefront of your daily work?

We’re just scratching the surface here (there’s a full-fledged process that I co-created called Body + Business Breakthrough Mast(H)ery™), but it’s effective enough to get your mind aligned with the reality of your right to choose.


This is simply about questioning yourself. This is not about lack of trust in your own decisions; it’s about self-governance, internal accountability, and conscious action.


Write down these three questions, and ask them for EVERY SINGLE THING that you feel a sense of loyalty toward:

1.  WHO am I loyal to in my life?
2.  WHAT actions do I repeat daily? (leave out teeth-brushing, pooping, and other “administrative tasks”. The purpose here is to identify daily choices such as whether you speak to a certain person on the phone every day, or if you think about exercising every day, or whether you eat lunch in the break room with the same group of people every day).
3.  WHERE are the areas in my life that feel obligated to do something, even though it’s not particularly enjoyable?


Email your responses to me. Yep, I want to use 30 minutes of time together to get you clear on these answers. We can Skype it up, or we can chat by phone. Another option is to share your responses with a close friend, and then have them ask you two follow-up questions:

1. Is this a conscious decision?
2. How is it serving me right now?

That’s all! This is what I love about this particular approach–it’s uncomplicated, and the results are absolutely profound. There is so much power in allowing yourself to be present in your decisions. We often fall into an auto-pilot mode that is not based on conscious decision, but previous patterns that can be based on other people’s expectations of us, childhood baggage, and a bevvy of other culprits that can wear a woman out worse than that Insanity Workout DVD!


I look at vibrations as levels of energy exchange. We are always exchanging energy with something or someone, just at varying levels. For example, when you’re at your local park taking a morning walk, and a passerby nods and smiles, they’ve just given you a moment of their attention; that’s energy.  Similarly, when I kneel to talk to my 5-year-old daughter about her day at school, she and I are exchanging a more focused energy—a higher vibration, so to speak.

Petting our animals, hugging a friend, making love, arguing, sharing a meal, and having a brief, polite exchange with the cashier at your local farmer’s market are all sources of vibrational energy exchanges.  This is important to recognize because how we choose to share our energy is another one of those points of conscious choice, and the more present we get in our capacity and right to choose, the higher our vibration.

Ever wondered how you could sit at a desk all day at work, and then be tired when you get home? You didn’t run anywhere, you didn’t exert any physical energy lifting heavy boxes or operating heavy machinery, so how can you be tired?

Well, let’s see–you gave your energy to the commute (not-so-pleasant exchanges with cars that cut you off in traffic, speaking to the man in the car next to you who kept his indicator on for about 7 miles and didn’t go anyplace in particular, etc.)

Then you give large blocks of your time (read: energy) to the square box in front of you (hello, computer!)  by fixing other people’s mistakes, checking off tasks, giving yourself and thoughts to other people’s requests via email and phone.

Then you had lunch, which probably wasn’t filled with the nutrients you needed to sustain your body and brain throughout the day.

This is not judgment, it’s necessary observation. How do we keep our vibrations high, when we fall into patterns of activities that don’t leave us feeling uplifted, valued, or celebrated?

Here’s what I’ve done to raise my vibration and increase my energy reservoirs

1. Regular exercise. Yep, there’s no workaround for that one, honey–get it in. If even twice a week for 20 minutes at a time. Honoring your body is a beautiful way to make a conscious decision toward a higher vibration of your self.

2. Balanced eating. I am nobody’s nutritional guru, and Creator knows that brownies and muscato are dear friends of mine, but I’ve managed to keep a healthy body inside and out by balancing those loves with regular intake of green leafy veggies (kale is a regular part of my diet), morning fruit and whey protein smoothies,  careful meat selection (no whole chickens for $2 up in this temple!), and of course as much water as I can manage.

3. Practicing Presence. Each time I choose to do something—be it an administrative task, the planning of an event, a phone call, a conversation, anything—I practice being present in that decision.  I ask myself that “how is this serving me right now” question, and as often as I can, I shift the activity based on the responses I hear/feel.

These may sound like simple (perhaps even “heard it all before”) solutions, but the thing is…THEY WORK. It is my belief that the majority of the pain points in my life were either created or prolonged because I was not PRESENT in the process. I made choices based on external factors, I didn’t feel through my decisions, and I operated from a place of guilt when it came to seeing what served me.

If you start your practice of conscious decision-making, raised vibrations, and worthwhile loyalties now, you WILL save yourself from being constantly subjected to people and situations that don’t deserve your energy.

Sit with that, and let me know what you get.