14 Radical Solutions for Your Them-Then-Me Mindset

14 Radical Solutions

This is another excerpt from Radical Self-Expression Manifesto. I shared a version of it on Instagram a few days ago and the reactions were so …freakin’ awesome! This book is going to serve so many people, and I’m just the being to serve it up without filters!

I have certainly overextended myself far too many times, and I’ve made myself the victim, instead of owning my role in the situation.  That’s over, and this section of the book holds some powerful knowings to help you cleanse yourself of that tendency too.  Not from a space of blaming yourself, but from a space of claiming yourself—Huge difference!


Really, your “tendency to give a fuck” is not the problem.

The problem is when that fuck you give becomes more of a priority than your own needs.

And of course, I am not talking about your tendency to care about the wellbeing and joy of people you love.

And of course, I am not referring to your decision to extend yourself and go out of your way to help someone.

I think those are honorable, and karmically sound, and compassion-focused. When a friend is in need, or a member of your family or community needs

What I am referring to are those instances when the other person has a pattern of being fully self-focused. That same person who expects you to extend yourself (again) with little regard for your needs, and no good record of reciprocity.

What I am referring to are those instances when you wait too long to check in with yourself, under the guise of focus, or grind, or commitment.

You get to be focused, but you have to remember how to do that without compromising your most basic needs.

You need consistent rest.
You need to earn what you are worth.
You need to manage your own life.
You need to be in loving environments.

When you care too much about what the people around you need from you
(be they a lover, employer, client, child, parent, or friend)
You let your self-care habits fall to the periphery, and you

…gain too much weight
…lose too much weight
…stop eating to live, and instead live to eat
…stop doing the things you considered fun
…start expecting to fail

When you find yourself putting the fuck (you give) over the feeling (you prefer), you’ve got to shake up that energy by practicing ways to choose yourself. That way, you can get more present and more aligned with your own needs, and you can be more conscious in your decision to say yes or your right to say no. I have some suggestions for you, and many of them are from my own experience…

(exerpts from) 14 RADICAL SOLUTIONS

1. Eat more (raw) plants. They literally charge you up and help give you mental clarity.

2. Use incantations—words put together to generate an energetic response from your cells in relation to a specific goal or desire.

3. Learn how your digestive system works. That knowledge is a powerful tool for making better food choices.

9. Give yourself permanent permission to stop and determine how you feel about what you are doing in any given moment.

10. Learn more about the “subtle body” — the series of channels accessed by specific points on the body (chakras) that emit your life force.

11. Find one physical exercise that is difficult for you to do, and do three of that exercise every day. When you are able to do it without difficulty, choose another exercise, and master it as well.

Manifesto Cover